The call came in early on Saturday morning. Fowl play was afoot in The Forest, a sleepy suburb of Thornville. The locals were in a flap. The serial killer had struck again.
Superintendent Squish Squirrel was on the scene in minutes to begin taking twittering statements from the panicked crowd.
One pointed a trembling wing in the direction of the suet block, unable to look. Super Squish followed with his eyes. The first sign of suspicious activity was glaringly obvious.
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The victim appeared to be an Animalia Cardinalidae, female, and in her prime. The perp had made no attempt to hide his crime, and his MO was well-known to the Super. Evidence lay scattered far and wide. He took photographs for the lab.
He asked for a team to help with an inch-by-inch search for clues. Cardinal began an intent search of the ground at her feet. Titmouse however made a sharp exit stage left, un-nerved by it all. Shecouldn't cope with unpleasantnest.
Junco rose to the challenge. He was no bird brain.
But the search was fruitless. It had gone to seed, and Super Squish was getting nowhere. He offered a reward for anyone who came forward with solid evidence that would led to an arrest. Nuthatch looked like he was about to spill the beans, but apologetically changed hismind and slunk away.
Chickadee waded in and grabbed a mouthful, but said nothing of relevance. He was later to be charged with wasting police time.
The cats had got their tongues, and no-one was squawking. But suddenly, Super Squish spotted something in the snow, under the tree where the suet block hung. The perp hadn't even covered his tracks.
Delighted at this new lead, Super Squish rounded up the Usual Suspects. They sat and sprawled nonchalantly, smirking while he fired questions at them.
Answers were not forthcoming. They held their own tongues, too. He was thwarted, and had to release them; he didn't have a solitary piece of solid evidence. Damn cats, and their fastidious cleaning. Today's killing was one of several which had recently taken place and Super Squish was getting nowhere. He walked into the distance, wishing he had a pair of sunglasses to put on and something profound to say, and stared off into nothing, lost in thought.
He needed someone to infiltrate the Moggie Mob. A quiet word in a likely-looking ear, and a quiet conversation took place.
"I'm your cat"
"I thought you were My Cat"
"Well, she calls me her cat, so yes, to her I'm My Cat. But I'm happy to be your cat. Let's do business."
The deal was sealed with the promise of all the tuna he could eat. Super Squish got his infiltrator. The plan worked. Several days later his informant passed along a bit of hearsay. Loose lips and a boastful, "get ME!" attitude had compelled the killer to brag to his cronies. Your Cat/My Cat/Whoever's-Cat-Suited-His-Purpose-At-The-Time told Super Squish all he'd heard. The local force quickly GOT HIM! The killer was arrested and broke under interrogation. His print matched perfectly. No need for trial, he was soon behind bars.
When the news hit the press, everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
Super Squish was also relieved. He needed a break, and badly. Earlier thoughts of Miami disappeared. He took a two week vacation in Exumas in the Bahamas. He'd heard tales of nudity, rum, and lobster.
Working for peanuts was all very fine. But he wanted to be shown a better time.
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Final image stolen from the net. This was a crime story, after all.
~*~*~ We took it easy on Saturday, Shane being tired after getting home Friday afternoon. Slept in and took our time getting up in time for lunch at a little local Greek restaurant - I had a spinach, feta cheese and herb pie in filo pastry which was gorgeous! We did a bit of shopping for stationary supplies and pottered about in the motel, Shane reading his SciAm magazine and me finally getting to finish watching The Hogfather, after the laptop kept shutting down from overheating every 15-20 minutes. What a pain in the arse!! The movie was brilliant though, thanks for the heads-up Bill.
I also finally finished that Winter wall-hanging I've been working on, stitching on some dried grasses from the tree farm. I'm pleased with it. Now I just need to buy some sort of spray-on glue from the craft store to keep it from falling apart bit by bit.
Now I can get on with a certain hat that's been on the go for a while... hehehe.
Today we went down to the tree farm to check on Junior - he's doing just fine! Shane saw him in the rear view mirror, pedaling down the lane after us as fast as he could go, lol.
Yayyy! Chow time!!
I fed him and the birds while Shane got a fire going to warm our toes - it's bloody cold out there! And Junior came up for a cuddle on my knee.
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It's always a relief to get down there and see he's okay.
Since we got back here, Shane's cooked a hunk of steak (delicious!!), and the remains are in the crockpot with a load of frozen veggies we brought back from home with us. I'm really looking forward to breakfast.
... by coming to sleep on the bed with us, and sprayed on Shane's leg when Shane had the audacity to shove him over when he rolled over in his sleep? Junior paid the price by having a trip to the vet's to get his nuts cut off the next day. He didn't come to sleep on the bed again forEVER.
Looks like he's gotten over it, eh?
Damn... it was bad enough when I just had Shane to contend with before I could get in!
* Junior has discovered the comfort of the bed, now it's warm enough that we often have the big fan at the bottom of it turned off. That fan put him off until now. He approves of silence and still air.
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* I got my bill yesterday for my mammogram and ultrasound - $640!!! $640!!! OMFG. And that's with a $324 discount because I've no insurance! They want me to go back in 6 months for a check up. I think not.
* Thankfully our tax return was in on time, and will bring us enough to pay that horror, plus some work on the car that needs doing - new front struts and rotors, mainly. I gave it a good spring clean yesterday while the weather was dry, cleared out a whole pile of old rubbish and brushed the floors etc. It's looking GREAT now.
* The garden is coming on nicely! The recent mix of warm days and showers has done it well.
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As well as the garden, all sorts of spring plants are making themselves known, including the Mayflowers...
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and Jack-in-the-Pulpits.
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* I had to go into work today for a mandatory meeting, about what to do in case of danger and disasters etc. If there's a tornado warning, we have to make sure every resident has a blanket on their bed - I had this image in my head of 50-odd old folks grabbing the corners to make parachutes and floating away like Dorothy... hehehe.
* And d'you know, I'm out of things to say! As Shane said in his blog today, it's a dreary, rainy one - I think it's catching, lol! Ah well... I'll get this posted and write a book review I've been intending for a couple of weeks.
Yesterday I posted this recipe for Bill the Bacon Binger. At the time I hadn't actually made it, but that wasn't the case for long! Me and Shane headed out for a grocery shop soon afterwards and here's what happened when we got back...
Who needs air freshener or scented candles when you can fill your home with the glorious scent of frying bacon?
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TIP: if some doesn't cook quite crispy enough for the recipe, eat it. Just make sure you don't do it on purpose.
Glance over and think how cute Junior is, asleep on Shane's knee while he's blogging...
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For melting the choc/condensed milk/butter/cream mixture - If you don't have a nifty free natural gas flame outside to do this, and an old breeze block to sit on, don't worry. Go ahead and use one of those indoor gas/electric rings on one of those fancy cooker things. Will work just as well but you'll miss the experience of snowflakes gently melting down your neck while you're stirring. Bummer!
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I've never bought condensed milk before, but a taste of it on the spoon brought childhood memories flooding back. When we were kids, Mum used to put a couple of tablespoons of it into bowls and stir in hot water, to which we'd add Shredded Wheat. It was a proper treat, especially in winter, and the taste hasn't changed over the years! I miss my brother.
What foodstuff smell/taste reminds YOU of childhood?
Once you've mixed the crumbled bacon and pecans into the chocolate mixture and poured it into the pan, Put it in the fridge to chill. And cry, because four hours is SUCH a long time.
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Console yourself with the fact that as the cook, you have the prerogative of licking the spoon.
;
AND that all the left over whipped cream can be added to the coffees to which you've already added good slugs of Canadian Club whisky, which you also splurged out on while shopping. WOOT!
Play with Picnik for a while and turn a pretty boring photo you took while outside melting the choc mix into something you actually like...
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Cake pans - $1.91
Whipped Cream - $2.79
Condensed Milk - $1.50
Choc chips - $3.69
Pecans - $4.69
Bacon - $3.99
Butter - $2.98
1.75 liter bottle of Canadian Club - $25.05
Total = $46.60
An evening of cooking, reading, drinking and good conversation, ending in going to sleep slightly drunk and happy as anything - PRICELESS.
And breakfast in the morning ...
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Omigod. Heaven. The chocolate is rich and sticky but not so overwhelming that you can't taste the bacon. YUMMMMMM!!
The maple sap run is almost over... the trees are about to bud and the flow of sap is slowing right down because they want it for themselves. Fair enough! Shane's got more than enough syrup jarred now.
Junior is AWOL these last couple of days... we saw him snoozing on Roger's porch earlier today - along with the Lady cats and kittens from last year. He ran in briefly to grab a mouthful of breakfast this morning while I was half asleep, and disappeared out again with indecent haste - it seems he's discovered what his nuts are for. Hehehe.
Sitting outside smoking a ciggie this evening, I heard the PEEPERS in the creek for the first time this year. WOOT!
Yes... it's DEFINITELY Spring! Any more snow now? It's "Spring Snow".
Spot the Junior...
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Taken a few days ago, before the kid got all growed up. *Snif...*
* I wonder if the Z Man's cat ever gets to sleep as soundly and blissfully unaware as Junior. Somehow I doubt it! He's so comfortable indoors now, when he chooses to come in... He's sticking his wet nose on my arm as I type, wanting supper. I guess I'd better feed him before he starts yowling - he never did that when we fed him outside! - and wakes Shane up. Brb!
* Difficult to open a tin of cat food quietly... hehehe. But Shane sleeps on, and Junior tucks in.
* Dawes Arboretum, down the road from us, have only just tapped their maples and hung buckets to collect the sap a couple of days ago. Bloody hell! They're slow off the mark! Shane tapped half a dozen here some two or three weeks ago and we've got almost enough boiled down for a good couple of 12oz jars already! And more on the go, too. Maples need a few freeze-thaw-freeze-thaw cycles for sap to run properly - I think Dawes have left it well too late.
* Mom flies off to London on Monday, a trip she's been planning and looking forward to for months. I wish I was going with her! London will always have a fond spot in my heart as a place where lots of good things happened - passing my NCLEX exam, and passing my interview at the American Embassy. Plus that wonderful, unexpected day I spent sightseeing after the exam, when I'd thought I'd be in the exam room all day! Mom's going to bring me back some Walnut Whips and OXO stock cubes. WOOT! English chocolate is the BEST.
* Shane was explaining to me about car oil additives like Slick 50 this evening. I'm not a mechanic... and he was searching his brain trying to think of a "kitchen analogy" for me, lol! The difference between men and women...
* We eat a lot of cottage cheese. The tubs come in handy for leftovers when they're empty... it's a bit of a lucky dip when you pull one of five tubs out of the fridge as to whether you're actually going to find cottage cheese in there or not! I nearly made a cold beef stroganof sandwich earlier. Eeeee!
* We did a bit of work on the garden today. We're scaling right down from the enormous thing we've had the last two years, to just a small 4' x 6' area. Once Shane's working too, which will be soon now winter is almost over and the heating system doesn't need such round-the-clock care, we just won't have time for a big garden. So we'll plant some stuff in the small plot, and leave the rest to be taken over by volunteer tomatoes and whatever else re-surfaces from last year. We like tomatoes, so it's all good.
* Saw a trailer for a new movie coming out, "Source Code". It looks good! And we've decided we're actually going to go to the movies to see it, woot! The last movie we went to see was ages ago, so this I'm looking forward to! It'll be nice to have a "day out" that doesn't involve the Post Office, recycling center, and laundromat, lol!!
* I'm really, really missing my old camera, my Vivitar Vivicam 8325. Since the motor burned out and it died on me, I've bought two cameras... an Olympus something-or-other which I hated and gave to Roger, and a newer model Vivitar, which I'm not feeling the love for either. It has a digital zoom but not optical, so distance shots aren't up to much. And its macro facility is practically non-existent. I wish I'd been bright, and just bought another 8325. Ah well... it's my birthday in a couple of months - I might treat myself. Yay. THAT'S a plan!
* I recently read "The Broken Shore", by Peter Temple, and can't recommend it highly enough. I started it on the Saturday afternoon, and had it finished by Sunday evening - literally a book I couldn't put down! I'd never heard of Temple before, but it seems he's written many crime novels and won several awards... I'll definitely be picking up more of his stuff before too long. Set in Australia, this book was both awful and wonderful at the same time. I LOVED it.
* That's about it. I'm going to check the sap one more time, turn the flame right down so it can be left overnight, and head for bed. G'nite guys!
*I've been and had my eyes tested this week, for the first time in some four or five years. The exam was a couple of days ago, and today was the "dilation test", where they stick drops in to dilate your pupils and check for any diseases. And I officially have "beautiful eyeballs", so the optometrist told me. Great! That photo was two hours later at 3.30pm... they're just about back to normal now at 6pm. And thanks to a link posted by Bill, for Zennioptical.com, I'll soon be the proud owner of two new pairs of specs... a pair of progressive bifocals ~
~*~*~ ~ and a pair of single lens specs for driving, in case the progressives are troublesome ~~ both with anti-reflective coating, and just $77.20 including postage. WOOT! I do so LOVE a good bargain. Thanks Bill.
*I had to call into work after the eye exam on Monday, to pick up a turkey, lmao! The bosses had got one for every member of staff, how cool is that?! I haven't cooked a turkey in forever. It's currently finishing defrosting in the fridge, ready to submit to my ministrations tomorrow morning. It'll be getting cooked in Pop's oven, and it should be a good Thanksgiving Day. Not the huge celebration which Mom held in the barn last year, with some 20 relatives, but a smaller family gathering with me and Shane, Pops, and Shane's sister and nephew. I'm looking forward to it.
*We've been tentatively talking about the possibility of Junior coming with us, whenever we leave the tree farm and get an apartment. He's such an outdoor cat, and with all these acres to roam, I don't know if he'd take to living in "suburbia" and going in and out via a cat-flap. But we're going to see if we can get him round to the idea of coming in now and then... maybe set a litter tray here in the camper van and shut him in overnight, just to see how he feels about it. He looks a bit dubious about the idea at the moment...
~*~~*~ But who knows... we'll give it a try, anyway. He might be a bit more willing now the weather is starting to get cold. Fingers crossed!
*This is how cold it's been today. I think my days of washing dishes in my lovely outdoor kitchen are at an end... *sigh...*
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*I finished reading "Empire", by Orson Scott Card.The book in itself was okay, though not (to me, anyway) anywhere near as good as his "Ender" series. What I really DID like though was the style of its writing. It's very clipped, and lacking in much descriptive detail... not much emotion at all, either. It's more a catalogue of events, without any superfluous detail. A major event happens well into the book, and it was written so sparsely that you could almost have missed it - there was no "Omigod!!" about it at all. I've never read anything written quite like that before, and it was perfect for the story... as Shane said when I was telling him about the style - "War IS terse". Spot on.
*I'm really looking forward to meeting Lil Zeebers when it's my turn to play host to him for a week, somewhere around the end of January. Hehehehe. Click here to read what I'm on about, if you don't have a clue who Lil Zeebers is. Shane asked "so what does everyone get out of it, besides the entertainment?" My reply... "Nothing. But the entertainment is what it's all about!". I think Shane's looking forward to it, too. He's had a few ideas of his own already. Hehehe.
*EXTRA "Dessert Delights" Mint Chocolate Chip chewing gum. Omigod. Heaven in a wad in your mouth.
*After stating emphatically that I want a dry winter because of driving, I'm now hoping for snow. I bought a new pair of snow boots last week and can't wait to try them out! They're supposed to be good down to minus 25F. And what's really nice about all this recent new stuff - snow boots, glasses, teeth filled, tyres and struts for the car etc - is the not having to worry about paying for it all. We're not going crazy, but it's a nice feeling to have a few bob in the bank.
*It's time for me to try and get in touch with my bro again, I suppose! This was the last I heard from him, back in July, on Facebook...
Hey Susie Wong!!!!!!!
I`m so so sorry Sue but since i got back i`ve had trouble with my phone and internet, which isn`t surprising considering i was away for 2 and a half months in the end!! First, i`m really pleased for you and i`m just glad that you`re happy!! Things seem like there going well for you hey!! Well where do i start?!! I`ll try and keep this short!!
Went to Thailand beginning of April to do some work on a property and also take a break ish. Was supposed to be there for 4 weeks then come back to do work here. My friend has a brand new 3 bedroomed house with swimming pool in a place called Chumphon which is way down south and stunning. Also it was all free for me so i wasn`t complaining!! Anyway, about 3 days before i was due to fly back i had the accident. Was on my motorbike riding back from the beach when a pack of stray dogs came out of nowhere. I swerved to get out of their way but clipped a foot peg on a high curb. That flung me over the handlebars and i took the full impact at 30mph with the centre of my face on the sharp corner of a concrete pillar. I was unconcious for over 4 hours until some guy found me and took me to a hospital. Woke up just as they were sticking needles in my wounds to numb it all for stitching, pure 100% agony!!! Basically i`d spilt my forehead, broke my nose in 2 places, from my nose to top lip was spliced in two, slit my throat, dislocated my left shoulder, sprained my right wrist, and had multiple bumps, bruises and cuts everywhere!! Apart from that i was fine!!! Haha!! The bike was ok though!!! Couldn`t fly back until 21st June in the end. Oman Air were fantastic and never charged me anything to change flights, etc, which helped ease the pain! Hospital fees, etc cost me over 7500 but to be honest i`m very very lucky to be alive or have permanent damage. I`ve had to go to hospital here in UK for scans, etc. I have post trauma concussion which gives me blinding headaches and numbness in the back of my head, this could go on for up to 2 years apparently. And the Thai doctor sewed my lip together wrong so i have quite bad nerve damage which is such a fucking pain. Again, if they don`t operate then it could go on for 6 months or more and i have to take these anti-depressants which act as nerve blockers. All in all, i count myself lucky, although i feel a bit of a dick sometimes cos i occassionally dribble now when i drink and eat which is highly embarrassing, especially when i`m trying to chat up a bird!!!! Hahaha!!!
I`ll write you a proper email soon to let you know what`s going on in my life and my plans for the future, which have all changed again!!!
But dont worry, i`m fine and alive!!!!
Love me xxx
*Shakes head in despair and laughs out loud* THAT'S Geoff, all over! I haven't heard from him since, though I did send a couple of messages back. I might see if I can give him a call on Skype over the weekend.
*Last but not least - I've been realising lately, just how precious time is. Since going back to work and not having much to speak of just to chill out and do nothing... or do what I want to do, at any rate. I've hardly given the new camera a fighting chance, and haven't done any "creative" writing since god knows when. It didn't seem as bad somehow in England, I guess because work was a short bus ride away (and I could at least read on the bus!), and my shift patterns were totally different. I'm learning to really appreciate the time I can spend on myself now. It's a very precious commodity.
Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends! I hope YOU all enjoy the time you spend celebrating tomorrow, whatever form that might take.
1) Shane's daughter was here from Friday evening to Sunday afternoon and we all had a brilliant weekend. On Saturday we went grocery shopping and called at a garden center on the way home ~ we splurged $40 on a couple of trays of goodies including HERBS!! which I'm chuffed about. I'd planted pots of various seeds but they didn't do anything, and I think Shane knew how disappointed I've been so he indulged me. I now have a "proper" herb garden. I love that man.
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2) On Sunday, M and I went for a wet walk in the woods, it was teeming down! But fun anyway. Everything was so fresh and green and gorgeous, including the honeysuckle...
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... and mayflowers everywhere...
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We came across a "shelter" Shane and M made together several years ago ~ a bit rickety and draughty but still standing and even growing a new roof on the top, hehehe.
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3) The only downer that weekend was my camera packing up completely. I don't know if it was a bit of rain getting in and adding to its growing problems, but I was panicking! I couldn't even upload the photos to the laptop on Sunday evening, it just kept shutting itself off. It seems to be (grudgingly) okay again now, but it's definitely time to start bargain hunting for a new one.
4) Luckily, I counted $33.50 in quarters we have saved in a jar ~ that's a good start!
5) I'm reading Jeffrey Archer's "Prison Diaries", currently on Vol 1 about his three weeks spent in London's Belmarsh Prison. Some of the accounts of what fellow inmates are in for, or have done while in prison to each other, are totally beyond my capacity for understanding. There are some really sick-minded people in this world. I can't get my head around it ~ what human beings are capable of inflicting on other human beings. Good grief. Ugh.
6) There's a bit of a hoo-hah going on in the world of snooker, my favourite sport. (Thanks for giving me the heads-up Dave). John Higgins, one of the UK's top players for almost 20 years, has been suspended after being accused in a tabloid newspaper of agreeing to accept a VERY large sum of money to fix frames in future matches. This probably won't mean much to most of my friends here in the US, but back home it's going to be HUGE news in the sports pages. I feel quite shell-shocked by it. I've been a snooker fan for about as long as Higgins has been playing, and this news is immense. I really hope he's not guilty... but it doesn't look good. Wow.
7) I never did get round to writing letters back home over the weekend. I've been suffering with really bad pains and cramps in my hands for months now, and actually using a pen and paper to write a letter is too much to stand at the moment. I'm going to have to type some and print them instead, omigod! Ugh. It rankles... it doesn't seem right! But I'm sure Eric et al will understand.
8) I've found a website I'll be having a good nosey at. We've got tons of burdock growing all over the place here, so I want to have a go at expanding my culinary repertoire of "things to cook from the woods". (I can hear Z Man laughing already! ) I used to LOVE dandelion & burdock soda pop as a kid ~ if I can learn how to make my own I'll be well chuffed. :)
9) Mom's got herself a hot-tub!! OMIGOD! I can't wait for Pops to get it set up! It might take a while though ~ Mom makes sure his "To Do" list is always expanding, never shrinking, lmao. I'll have to see if I can do anything to speed that item along!
10) At the other extreme... it must be such a hard life when all you have to worry about ~ for a FULL DAY ~ is finding the most comfortable position to sleep in...
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I'm going to have to type some and print them instead, omigod! Ugh. It rankles... it doesn't seem right! But I'm sure Eric et al will understand.
