August 15, 2012

• 2/27/11 For the Cat lovers (Z Man, don't bother, lol!)

   

  

   

   

  Junior in Spring

   

  ~*~*~

   

  Cat Haiku

   

  Negotiating
  No-man's land: carpet alive
  Flea season again

  I need a new toy.
  tail of black dog keeps good time.
  pounce! good dog! good dog!

  The rule for today
  Touch my tail, I shred your hand
  New rule tomorrow

  In deep sleep hear sound
  cat vomit hairball somewhere
  will find in morning

  Cat, fearless hunter
  leaves 'presents' for me near door
  next time I'll wear shoes

  Grace personified,
  I leap into the window.
  I meant to do that.

  Night. Now come night-mice.
  I chase them 'round on loud feet.
  You can't see them too?

   

  Blur of motion, then --
  silence, me, a paper bag.
  What is so funny?

  You never feed me.
  Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
  That will sure show you.

  The mighty hunter
  Returns with gifts of plump birds --
  Your foot just squashed one

  You must scratch me there!
  Yes, above my tail! Behold,
  elevator butt.

  You're always typing.
  Well, let's see you ignore my
  sitting on your hands.

  My small cardboard box.
  You cannot see me if I
  Can just hide my head.

  Terrible battle.
  I fought for hours. Come and see!
  What's a 'term paper'?

  Kitty likes plastic
  Confuses for litter box
  Don't leave tarp around.

   

  Small brave carnivores
  Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
  Fear vacuum cleaner

  Want to trim my claws?
  Don't even think about it!
  My yelps will wake dead.

  I want to be close
  To you. Can I fit my head
  Inside your armpit?

  Wanna go outside.
  Oh, shit! Help! I got outside!
  Let me back inside!

  Oh no! Big One
  Has been trapped by newspaper!
  Cat to the rescue!

  Humans are so strange.
  Mine lies still in bed, then screams!
  My claws aren't that sharp ...

  Cats meow out of angst
  "Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
  We could break so much!"

   

  Litter box not here
  You must have moved it again
  I'll crap in the sink.

  The Big Ones snore now
  Every room is dark and cold
  Time for "Cup Hockey".

  Hair hanging, straight, long
  One of my favorite things
  Female visitors.

  I seek new places
  Cupboard doors hide secret realms
  Meow when I get stuck.

  I like to roll dice
  From the box, one at a time
  I will steal them all.

  James has a squirt gun
  When I eat the plant, he shoots
  I wait till he leaves.

  We're almost equals
  I purr to show I love you
  Want to smell my butt?

  The food in my bowl 
  Is old and more to the point
  Contains no tuna.

   

  So you want to play. 
  Will I claw at dancing string?
  Your ankle's closer.

  There's no dignity 
  In being sick - which is why
  I don't tell you where.

  Seeking solitude
  I am locked in the closet.
  For once I need you.

  Tiny can, dumped in 
  Plastic bowl. Presentation,
  One star; service: none.

  Am I in your way? 
  You seem to have it backwards:
  This pillow's taken.

  Your mouth is moving; 
  Up and down, emitting noise.
  I've lost interest.

  The dog wags his tail, 
  Seeking approval. See mine?
  Different message.

  My brain: walnut-sized. 
  Yours: largest among primates.
  Yet, who leaves for work?

   

  Most problems can be 
  Ignored. The more difficult
  Ones can be slept through.

  My affection is 
  conditional. Don't stand up
  It's your lap I love.

  Cats can't steal the breath 
  Of children. But if my tail's 
  Pulled again, I'll learn.

  I don't mind being 
  Teased, any more than you mind
  A skin graft or two.

  So you call this thing 
  Your "cat carrier." I call
  These my "blades of death."

  Toy mice, dancing yarn 
  Meowing sounds. I'm convinced:
  You're an idiot.

  Author Unknown

   

  (From Flippy's Cat Page.

   

  • 2:17 am
  • 1 Comment